Following fertility treatment, my husband and I ended up with 3 viable blastocysts. I was not told of the risks of premature birth, miscarriage, health problems, etc, for multiple births. We were just told that they were going to put two blastocysts back, that I had a very high chance of a multiple pregnancy and were asked if we cope with it. We thought ‘Twins! Brilliant, all over and done with in one go!’
I’d suffered from OHSS soon after egg collection, and two days after implantation I began to feel extremely ill, ending up in our local A&E. After 8 days I was allowed home and spent a further 8 weeks recovering before going back to work. I had a scan at 6 weeks which showed 2 little heartbeats. We were ecstatic and couldn’t wait to be parents.
Things started to go wrong at my 20 week scan. This showed that my cervix had started funnelling (opening up) and there was only 4mm left before it would be open so I had to have an emergency stitch put in, followed by lots of bed rest.
At the start of my 23rd week, I began losing a lot of fluid. I was rushed to the maternity unit where I had a scan and was transferred to another hospital that was better equipped to cope with very premature babies.
My daughter had a very traumatic birth – she had been in my birth canal for 24 hours and started to come out sideways so they had to break her arm to turn her around so she came out head first. She was weak and very underweight, she needed immediate resuscitation and was put into an incubator.
My son looked much better, but was also put into an incubator and both twins were eventually taken off to the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit).
Once our babies were stabilised, we were allowed into the NICU to see them. We were told that our daughter was extremely poorly and was just being kept alive by machines. We had to let her go, so we had her baptised and then said our goodbyes.
Initially, our son seemed to do quite well. We went home but received a phone call early the next morning asking us to go to the hospital immediately. When we got to the NICU, we were told our son was very ill. He was being given morphine to make him comfortable. We knew we had to let him go and be with his sister in heaven.
I never knew how I would laugh again in the days after they died. We were on autopilot. We had to register their deaths and the registrar never said a word to us – I felt really angry with her. I felt angry with everyone.
Two days after the funeral my husband and I flew abroad for a week’s holiday. Although we were devastated, it helped a lot and we came home with a glimmer of hope.
Seven months later my husband got a job abroad and moved out there. I followed shortly afterwards. We haven’t tried treatment again as we needed to let ourselves heal mentally and for me, physically, but we plan on trying again later on this year. This time I will INSIST that only ONE embryo gets replaced.
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