Bringing up twins or triplets

Although raising twins or triplets can be a joyful experience, you should consider the possible effects on your emotional and financial resources, which are often overlooked. These affect life with twins not just as babies but as they get older as well.

What are the possible emotional costs?

• A number of studies have shown that parents who have twins after fertility treatment find it harder to cope than parents of naturally conceived twins. It is not clear why this is, but it has been suggested that because IVF parents have wanted children so much, it makes them feel less entitled to complain about being exhausted or overwhelmed. 
• Some mothers and families with twins experience severe parenting stress, particularly first-time parents.
• Depression in mothers of twins is more common than in mothers of singletons. This is not just after the birth, but in the early years as well. Social isolation and fatigue may be contributory factors.
• Parents of twins are more likely to go through marital stress and divorce after the birth of the children than parents of singleton babies.
• Research shows that parents of singleton babies are more likely to enjoy family life and feel confident about parenting.

What are the possible financial costs?

Although it may seem unimportant compared with the arrival of the longed-for children, the financial burden of a multiple birth can present serious problems. Child care costs and possibly the need for a bigger house and car, in addition to daily needs, should also be considered.

• In the UK, there is no statutory entitlement to grants or benefits for parents of multiple births. You are entitled to receive child benefit for each child at the usual rate, plus additional credits depending on your income.
• Having twins may affect one or both parents’ ability to work, particularly to work away from the home.
• A recent US study found that with each additional multiple birth child, the odds of having difficulty meeting basic material needs more than tripled.